Sunday 11th Oct 2020

I came down for breakfast(bedroom is on first floor) and saw a cup of milk left on the counter so I asked Rajiv" is he(Father-in-law) not having breakfast. " Rajiv said NO, he does not want to have breakfast. Rajiv told me that he had  asked the old man to eat his leftover dinner for breakfast. Old man refused to eat it. I told Rajiv he will not eat it(left-over dinner) but give him something else like Bread jam which I normally put for him, to which Rajiv replied that "can't keep wasting food like this." He told me to sit and finish my breakfast as this is not the first time that old man has played drama over food.

After he finished breakfast , he asked his father if he will eat bread and milk ( He had already had his morning hot water with lemon and tea subsequently). He said,"Han, yeh mai khalunga" ( Yes, This I will eat). So he was served the same.

Since morning Rajiv has been asking him to write that he wants to go of his own freewill to Mumbai, but old man is refusing to do so. AT 11am , Rajiv asked him if he had written it, he replied that he is not feeling well. After 15 mins, Rajiv went and said to get ready to get a haircut as the barber ( after proper sanitisation procedure and check at the gate below) had come. Old man immediately got up and was ready for it. Rajiv taunted, " Ab tabyat theek ho gayi?" 

Actually, old man wants to keep shuttling between mumbai and Lucknow according to his comfortability. There he will bad-mouth us to his so-called daughter Munni  and after he has taken out his frustration he will phone Rajiv and tell him that he is not getting food etc and Rajiv will call him back. His wife and daughter-in-law don't want to keep him as he has behaved badly with them. Eaten sleeping pills and made a nuisance of himself among the ladies. 

[Background to why his wife and D-i-l  -Prajakta - will not entertain him anymore - after his eldest son's death, Rajiv had finished the last rites and they came home(mumbai). Rajiv had forgotten his slippers so he told his Sis-in-law that he was going to get a pair of slippers. Old man immediately tagged along and told him to buy a new pant - Raymond's - as his pant was spoilt. Then after Rajiv left mumbai, he kept in touch with his Sis-in-law. SHe told him that one day while sitting for a meal, both she and the mother and kids started crying, which is natural. Old man told them, " ro kyun rahe ho,  marr gaya toh mar gaya...." something similar. Both ladies couldn't bear it and the D-i-l gave him a mouthful. After that incidence, old man ate a couple of sleeping pills. His d-i-l slapped him ( as per Rajiv's version of the story). Old man decided to leave and began packing the wife's clothes. Wife refused to leave the daughter-in-law. Old man told her, "dekhte hain mere bina tum log kaise rahoge" (old man was speaking as he used to get his full pension at that time, so he thought his wife would be dependant on him.) He got a Bihari neighbour to get him a taxi to the railway station and went off to Dehradun. This happened within a few months of the son's passing away.]

This is a routine affair and it remind me of an analogy - water keeps boiling at sim and the frog is never going to get out. Instead if the frog was put into hot water the frog would have jumped out.

Just found another saying that depicts our situation - If you don't chnage your thinking , you will keep recycling the same experiences. This is precisely what keeps happening at our house. 

Today, Rajiv is saying he will send him back to Mumbai. Let see if he actually sends him.

 10.10.2020

Rajiv was very emotional and confessed his many wrong-doings to others including my mother. 

We had decided to have oats and fry fish for dinner (because Rajiv has his weekend drink & starters). He was talking and then went to put the fish to fire. We came home from Hind Optics after getting Rajiv's eyes tested and giving Rajiv's spectacles for making. We came home to find RAjiv's father packing/ settling his clothes. RAjiv asked him if he is going. Father said No, he was settling clothes.

 He stopped by his father's room and he told Rajiv that he wants togo to Mumbai as he met his wife the other day. Rajiv told him that he would not stop him from going because of his rude behavior.

2 days ago, I caught him meditating again. He had done so many times before and everytime Rajiv has told him not to do so.

 I told him to go and do this whereever he wants to but not here. He began to argue,"isme kya hain. Main apne mann ko shant kar raha hoon." I said No one knows what you are saying in your mind so don't do it. " Mann mein kya kah rahen hain kissi ko nahin maloom. Isliye matt kariye" 

This is because RAjiv and his mother (phone conversatio) have always said that he used to say the Mahamrityunjay Jaap, while his brother - Prabhu was suffering from kidney problem and died. The father refused to give his kidney to save his son's life. I also said that he will never change just like the tail of a pig which is kept straight in a case, never straightens, his father yelled ant me saying,"tum jaoo yahan se, tum se kaun baat karna chahta hai." I said write and say that you want to go but he yelled saying that he will  not write anything. If my son wants to send me , he can do so but I will not write.  {Ironically, a few days after RAjiv's bithday, old man shouted at Rajiv saying ,"Kaun mujhe nahi rakhna chahta" (This is in retailation to what his nephew Rintoo told him on 25thsept- Rajiv's birthday that no one is going to keep you so stay properly over here at your son's place). Mujhe bhej do Mumbai") Classic part is that his youngest son was an alcoholic and died under a train after talking to his father and the father in disgust told him, "Ja ke kahin mar ja".}

Then he said, " Tum do paise ki aurat ho". That was it - I just walked out and immediately smsed Rajiv the incident. But he read it only in the evening and then gave his father a hollering, but in vain.

Back to the rude behavior of this evening (10/10/2020)  - so Rajiv told his father that he could atleast say sorry. I was in the kitchen and suddenly he walked in with a big grin on his face and said "Sarry" (not sorry as pronounced). I got unnerved and irritated as he was just a few feet away from me. I blurted that I would not be able to forgive him as he repeatedly does the same thing to irritate us or cause unpleasantness in the house. But he just turned and walked off into the drawing room and sat down to watch TV. Then Rajiv got angry and asked him as to who called him to watch TV. Rajiv told him to go into his room.  Old man walked off as if nothing ever happened.

I got bugged and told him in a raised voice that he can either go back to Mumbai or he and his wife and entire family will get into trouble as I will lodge an FIR. Rajiv threw the plastic watter bottle on the floor saying he had told him that I had already lodged it. (How am I supposed to know that he has already threatened his father with the FIR thing.)

Then started the usual melodrama - "Your mother is responsible for this state...blah...blah...blah..I have decided that Aditya & I will stay in Ansal 32 , and you can stay in Maqbara and my father can go to Mumbai". Strangely, in my message when I had hinted that his father may be the reason for our house breaking up, Rajiv said - " I will never leave you, how can you think about leaving?" Then he cooled down.

Gave his father dinner which he ate only 2 spoon fulls and then said he would not eat dinner. (He has done this a couple of times and I always told him it is bad for his health, at his age.). I have left the food covered with a plate on the table, in case he gets up later to eat. And yes, we did eat food and then RAjiv took the dogs  for a walk. He then fell asleep as he had taken too much stress and 2-3 pegs of whisky.